NAKED IN A CAVE 2024
Well, it’s me. It’s him. It’s T.I.M. and I’m reporting to you dear readers from Full Tan Sun Club in Albany, New York. With me along for the adventure is the recent social media naturist sensation Just Nekid Sarah and we are attending Howe Caverns annual Naked in A Cave event, where nudists, naturists, and people from all over strip naked for an evening of food, drinks, music, comedy, art, and of course exploring what looks like Batman’s Batcave. Sarah came from Arkansas while I traveled from Las Vegas, Nevada. Together while we rode in an Uber to the nudist resort from the airport, Sarah and I discussed how we heard about the event. She brings up the websites Nude Revolution and The Hub as her source and I found myself unaware of Nude Revolution to which I inquire further. She explains it’s a site that nudists can go to that is similar to Facebook and Instagram except for nudists. That’s awesome. As she informs me of this site that exists, Kerrianne’s name gets brought up. Kerrianne is the owner of Full Tan Sun Club and someone that a lot of people spoke highly of. Now, I was even more excited to get there. When we finally checked into our keyless cabin, which took two hours to achieve, and an owner who had no idea who we were at first, Sarah and I walked around taking photos and video at the entrance and took in the beautiful picturesque that we were surrounded by. It was rustic and smelled nice with green trees, leaves, and grass everywhere. It had a vibe of living off the grid. No running water, but you could walk around au naturel. A gentleman was playing music in the lobby area, and someone recognized me from ClothesFree which is always cool.
As we traveled to grab supplies from the local town, our driver Tom explained what brought him here and that he had been a nudist since 2019. What a great conversation. I even learned they held Car Show’s every year where people could win prizes. How fun. His audio interview can be heard on the podcasts: Naked, Nudists & Naturists or on The Naturist Living Show. Waking up from our first night at Full Tan I ventured to the outhouse where I would shower and use the restroom. It was very outdoorsy, rustic, and gave campsite vibes. Once we were ready for our day, as a nudescaster for Clothesfree we were able to interview the Director of the Eastern Region for AANR Sandy as well as Kerrianne who is the owner of Full Tan Sun Club. After the planned shuttle which was to take us to the Naked in the Cave event fell through and we (after much aggravation) found a ride to the event, we were told that we couldn’t enter the building until a certain time. Everything was on schedules and timelines. But it gave us a perfect opportunity to speak to the other nudie attendees and ultimately enjoy the company we had. Really amazing and cool people. I attended Comic Cons, and it was the same vibe of miscellaneous unique personalities. Overall, just folks willing to cut loose, have fun, and think outside the box.
Our first activity was painting our souvenir sunflower projects that would be fired in a kiln then mailed to us later. Which I received mine the other day and it looks cool sitting on my shelf. We walked to where our meal was to be held, and a lot of folks were unsure if we were allowed to take off our robes and be socially nude just yet. I watched a guy who was freely walking around the parking lot, so when I saw April Islip who had organized Naked in the Cave, I introduced myself and asked her. She was leery to nudists in earlier conversations because she had seen my posts and hashtags about the event and was adamant that the Naked in the Cave was not a nudist event (more on this later), but she did say that once you have your robes then you can choose to be clothes free. In which, I shed the robe without hesitation. The man in the parking lot, however, was having himself a grand time and was partying a little too soon and a little too fast. He was ultimately asked to leave. It’s a shame when some folks can’t mix nudity with alcohol responsibly.
Then, Sarah and I walked into the dining hall for our meal. It was a little odd how they organized everyone to where they were sitting. You couldn’t sit with your friends if you paid separately. Everyone was told to wear their robes for hygienic purposes, but we sat down with a basket of bread and salad delivered to everyone first. The food was amazing and clearly fancy gourmet. They offered us an alcoholic beverage which I took advantage of the white wine and Sarah had a Corona beer. Our actual meals came out next, one dish was a chicken marsala with noodles, chicken, mushrooms, and a nice gravy. The other dish was a filet magnon that was cooked perfectly and potatoes with a mystery item that I had to ask the waiter what it was. A pesto goat cheese. Both dishes were delicious. It was sorcery with how amazing the food tasted. Next came our dessert which they served two cakes. One a chocolate raspberry and the other was lemon but with a hint of something I wasn’t a fan of. Overall, it was so very worth it. After we ate we took an opportunity to meet again with April and interview her on camera for CFI. During those interviews she showed her enthusiasm and vest for living in the moment and embracing opportunities to celebrate all body sizes, shapes, colors, etc. She’s just a beautiful soul. Off camera she explained how often nudist groups wanted to take over the tradition with recruitment booths and the like, she just wants it to be fun and friendly without making folks feel like they are joining a nudist cult. It was a worthwhile conversation and to my point I offered how by aligning with us crazy nudists we also could grow the event but to be honest at three hundred and fifty naked people it may have been at max capacity anyway. Then after our talk, it was time to take our stroll through the caves. We checked our clothes in, were given a list of rules to follow: no relieving yourself in the cave, no sex in the caverns, don’t touch the walls, stay on the path, etc. But out of all the rules that made sense I didn’t “get” the: you can’t have long socks rule which seemed silly to me, but I guess people would try to hide items or steal items from the caves. Precious gems, and minerals.
We got into an elevator and went down about fifteen floors, and we were now in the caves underground with dripping water, stalagmites, and structures that looked like giant earwax. They had lights that lit the path and people along the way that was playing music or giving hot chocolate and cookies. There was a spot where we could take pictures that we would later get.
There was a lot of body positivity and uplifting conversations. Then, came the boat ride. The water had been rising as we strolled further into the deep dark caves. We were given a towel to sit on and the boat ride was about 15-20 minutes of looking at the view and listening to the history of it. It was like Disneyland’s rides, Pirates of the Naked Caribbean indeed. A waterfall could be heard around a bend, but we never went that far as it was blocked off with a gate. On our way back we saw more people to the sold-out event. It was a twenty-one and over crowd with a lot of diversity.
We headed to retrieve our clothes and pictures, which the pictures weren’t as organized. Ran into a few problems of receiving the wrong photos, etc., but once it was figured out Sarah headed into the gift shop while I sat down for a moment, soaking it all in and resting my old fat back. There was an afterglow to it all, realizing how many hurdles I had been through just to get to this one point. I was feeling euphorically happy. To have this unique feeling of promoting body positivity and standing our ground against the backlash. Surrounded with so many like-minded folks and even being recognized for my activism as well as having lines from my nudist comedy specials repeated back to me from legit fans. There was a comedy event we attended that night, which was a slice from the past. He was an older style comedian and did impressions of people that aren’t followed anymore and talked about movies people haven’t seen. I was nabbed in the spotlight briefly because the comedian had a hard time grasping that I was a professional nudist as a guy from the group called out what I did for a living. He was even surprised that I lived in Las Vegas and was there for a comedy event. Maybe you had to be there, but it was a moment which I got a thunderous applause from the crowd. These were my people.
On our way back to the resort we had a very wonderful conversation with a guy named Paul that we discussed nudity and scary movies. I found out he volunteered for a wonderful organization Grammy Rose Dog Rescue and Sanctuary in Acton, Maine. Afterward, Sarah and I debated whether we wanted to go to the after-party event they were holding because we both were tuckered out but figured we would at least go say hi.
As I asked Sarah what her thoughts were about the event in an audio clip to be used later for podcasts, it made me realize that there just weren’t many events happenings like this or you know how instead of a nudist resort opening we were more likely to hear about another one closing. It really sucks. I remembered a joke that I used to say on stage when I would do the live naked stand-up shows in LA, “Ya know how nudist resorts always say we want to attract younger people. And then you say oh yeah? Well, what are you doing on Saturday? And they say chili cook off and bingo night!” So, they’re not practicing what they preach. Young people wanna dive into the pool and play loud music and be stupid because that’s what you did when you were young and you’re doing these old fart things thinking that young people want to do it, and they don’t. But they just don’t get it. I say that in front of crowds and people laugh, but that’s what they continue to do. While we as a people continue to become extinct in front of our own eyes. So, I feel like we need a severe cultural shift and if we don’t, then we’re gonna die out like the dodo bird. Sarah echoed, for a cause that most naturist support and are a part of. I hope they continue to do it or do something similar and that it doesn’t die off. But again, it’s going to take more people, more support, and take all of us being a part of solving the bigger problems and the bigger issues before we see that kind of growth in the naturist world.
All things considered, from Tim Chizmar the nudist humorist, this reporter, nudecastor with ClothesFree TV. I’m glad that this place in New York exists. I’m glad it’s around. I’m glad they have their hearts in the right place. You can tell they want this to be a success, and I wish them all the best.
I want to thank April at Howe Caverns and Naked in A Cave for giving us the time and talking with us. I was to express our gratitude to the Full Tan Sun Club for offering us to stay there and being so helpful. I want to thank Corky Stanton for all his support at clothesfree.com. I’d also like to thank Amber Hassler at Twister of Mystery for her help in organizing this article.
As always I’m happy and honored to attempt to make a little bit of positive change in this crazy, wacky world of nakedly that I call my home.
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